The Very Me I Could Not Be More Of

shall I dare open up my heart?

will I not be disappointed?

am I not having childish dreams?

childish dreams of never being sad or getting hurt..

am I not still a child not knowing how to deal with a broken heart or how to defend herself?

am I not the very me that I could not be more of?

am I not the girl with ongoing changes in her mood and feelings but with the same unchanging fears and personality?

shall I dare talk about my feelings?

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A World Inside Of Me

There is a world inside of me I cannot describe nor give shape to. Is it a calm world or a loud one? Is it full of brightness or did darkness cover all of its places? How many places does it even have? There is a world I want to discover but I don't know where I have to start nor do I know where I have to come back to. Is it possible to come back without losing myself? I don't have a map nor do I have the equipment. I'm empty-handed. This world I speak of, no one can see it but me. No one can know about it but me. No one can feel it but me. Sometimes there is rain and other times there is nothing but sunshine but the latter won't last long. Well, it didn't till today. There is a world full of adventures and magic, a world full of emotions and sensations. A world full of me, yet far away from me. It's a world in the deepest corners of myself, no rational human being would ever dare to go there. It's too deep in there...

"When being with you"

"trust me", he said "why", she asked "because it's me.. don't you see.." "I don't know you" "your heart knows me" "but I don't remember anything" "I know.." "you know..?" "yes, I know.. you may not be able to recall a memory of me but your heart does.. you just have to learn to trust me" "how do I learn to trust you?" "put your hand on my heart.. don't be afraid.." "It' so warm" "so is your hand" "It is?" "yes, it is" "My hands are usually cold.. How come they got warm by now" "your hands were never cold when being with me" "When being with you.." "What are you thinking..?" "there's this feeling I can't describe.. I've never felt this before but it's kinda familiar.."

"The Truth Written Under The Unspoken Words"

/31.01.17/ "I don't know you and you don't know me. But I want to know you. Do you also want to know me? Me, not my characteristics or behavior. I'm asking you if you want to know my inner Me, my inner self, my thoughts and carings, my reasons for my feelings, and my feelings without any reasons. Do you want to know my inner self which cannot be influenced by external influences? You're the one I want to share everything with. I want to share everything precious in my life with you. I want to talk to you, to explain myself and also not explain myself. I want you to know everything about me without me needing to say a word. Will you one day just understand what's written in my eyes? Will you know the truth when I'll say that I never cared for you and never even thought of you? Will you see the truth which is written under the unspoken words? Will you see it as the only one who is able to see it?"

Sara's Dreamworld

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