Sara's Dreamworld

Yâ Rabbi, I'm scared. I'm scared of my own heart. I don't want to think about anyone. I just have found you. Again. But this time I won't let go of you. Don't let me go either. I just have freed my heart and opened the doors so that I could breathe again. Yâ Allâh, you're the only one whom my heart belongs to. You created me and the whole universum. All lives belong to you and so do each heart too. I know that you can lead each heart. Don't let bad thoughts find me. I don't want to get into depression because of some mortal feelings anymore. I know that this dunya is a test for us. I want to graduate with ease from it. I don't want my heart to cry anymore. I know that your mercy is the only thing I need. Yâ Allâh, protect my heart for i only trust the everlasting you whom my whole life belongs to. ~03.05.2017 I just found this old writing in my notes which i wanted to share.~

"Hey, how are you? Are you alright?" No, I'm not. Actually I'm miserable. I'm neither fine nor am i peaceful. İt's the first time for me to say that i'm not fine. It does not happen for the first time because I never felt sad and troubled before or something like that. It´s just that I'd never dare saying I'm not fine. Even when I really felt bad. I could not talk to anybody. Every time someone asked me how I am, I would say "Alhamdoulillah, I´m fine," with a bright smile on my face. I would smile even when I'm not feeling to do so. I would just smile, because I'm known for smiling and laughing all the time and not complaining about something. But today I don't feel like pretending to be good. I don't feel like lying to myself. I also want to show my sadness and cry. I often cried, it is not something i never did. But I don't want to cry behind walls and closen doors anymore. Something is burdening me and