Skip to main content

Distance

I have to be like the way I am towards you. 
I cannot laugh or smile at you. 
I cannot show my happiness to you. 
I am not allowed to do so. 
I am not allowed to make you feel like the reason for my happiness or my sadness. 
I cannot say anything to you.

But you, you are already my whole life. 
I know, you are not here, you are not a part of anything in my life here. 
But you're the one my heart beats for and my mind keeps thinking of. 
Even when I don't want to. 

              
             I have to be cold.                                                   
   I have to be a stranger to you.                               

     
But believe me, you're there 
     in all of my prayers, in all of my Duâs.

You're there in every one of my tears.             
But you're also the reason for me finding back to my Lord. 
I know that you are a test for me, a test I have to solve right in this Dunya. 
I don't have any other choice than to be distant from you.                

Forgive me for not letting you know anything.



|Written back in 2016/17|

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Find Yourself

Sometimes everything seems like a big lie.  Why is it this way?  Why not the other way?  Why is it important?  What does it have to do with me? We often have questions over questions and no answers or no one to answer our questions.  No one to lead us and no one to open the path for us. We feel lonely and confused, and mostly empty, not wanting to do anything, to finish something. Or we even do not want to begin something. We feel like a stranger to everyone. We are not sure if it is the truth that we see. We often do not know what to do. We tried everything to understand life and ourselves. But couldn't it just be that we used the wrong way in doing so? What if we have to change our way of finding answers? That could be the reason, right? So, I'm saying that we should search in our hearts. We just have to open our hearts to see the truth.  If we want to see more than what we only see through our eyes, we have to see with our hearts. But if w...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Source Of Happiness..

I'm not the person I want to be.  I want to be a beautiful human, someone whose presence means peace, warmth, and harmony.  Instead, I'm only harming those I'd never want to.  I'm hurting myself and those around me. Life circles up every time.  As soon as I start to get a better person, everything turns to its usual self.  I'm exhausted from all these changes.  I started to appreciate my changing nature and positive sides but I still cannot manage the negative ones.  I'm of no use.  Yet the only thing I wanted is to be of use, to be of help.  But I'm the one who needs help, the one who cannot do anything right.  Being understood without me needing to explain is what I'm longing for. Every time I try to talk and explain why I am the way I am it only gets harder.  I'm different. I always tried to be normal but I usually failed to be so.  At the end of the day, I'm left there with thoughts and no answers.  I'm weak. I may...
Post a Comment
Read more

Dreams

There are dreamers and their dreams.  There are dreams which have the potential to become real and then there are some kind of dreams which are only meant to be a dream.  There are people who can turn their dreams into reality, people who only dream when they need to, and also control their dreams. People who do everything in steps, also dream.  Then there are those people who already live in their dream world. They don't tend to dream of something which has the possibility to become real; their reality is their dream world.  They cannot change it, or just don't want to. Those dreams could just be hope but not a goal.  I think I'm a dreamer of the second sort, or I was. But I changed or I'm on my way to do so.  I intend to act like my mother told me to.  "Just dream of something you also can reach for. Dreaming of something with no possibility to become real is unnecessary," she said.   So my conclusion is that you have to learn to...
Post a Comment
Read more