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Distance

I have to be like the way I am towards you. 
I cannot laugh or smile at you. 
I cannot show my happiness to you. 
I am not allowed to do so. 
I am not allowed to make you feel like the reason for my happiness or my sadness. 
I cannot say anything to you.

But you, you are already my whole life. 
I know, you are not here, you are not a part of anything in my life here. 
But you're the one my heart beats for and my mind keeps thinking of. 
Even when I don't want to. 

              
             I have to be cold.                                                   
   I have to be a stranger to you.                               

     
But believe me, you're there 
     in all of my prayers, in all of my Duâs.

You're there in every one of my tears.             
But you're also the reason for me finding back to my Lord. 
I know that you are a test for me, a test I have to solve right in this Dunya. 
I don't have any other choice than to be distant from you.                

Forgive me for not letting you know anything.



|Written back in 2016/17|

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